EVER HEARD OF SOAP???

Are these the grubby hands of your local hobo? No! They indeed belong to Ms. Britney Spears. I kid you not. Apparently, soap does not fly in the Spears household!

I have to assume Britney died her own mop with some $6.99 CVS box hair dye. Because all the other reasons her hand would look like this are just far too gross to suggest. And because going to a salon to comb out that rats nest and dye it black would take away time from her aimless driving and Starbucks runs, so lets hope it's just die! Or maybe it's some weird Michael Jackson, you know that the fallen pop-stars magically get on their down fall. Except she has the disease where she is turning black. Honestly, who dies their own weave anyways? She probably sews in that roadkill herself too.