THE CHATTERBOX

"Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynaecologist and my doctor said, 'We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?' "I told him that I'd left it out in reception, and when he came back he said, 'This is really embarrassing but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it.' Needless to say he got fired. In hindsight it's a funny story."
- Paula Abdul

WHAT IS ON PAULA ABDUL'S HEAD?

Seriously, she looks like George Fucking Washington. Go powder that poodle!

THE CHATTERBOX

"I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach."
"I've been going through tremendous amounts of a difficult time."
"I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by (publicist) Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover."
"I'm being tested. All I've ever wanted in my life is to be treated fairly and be treated with kindness. And I've never in my entire career been treated this way. The people who are supposed to take care of these things do not. I have to clean up after them everywhere they go. And I'm tired of it."
"Howard Bragman on Monday - he did some disgusting behavior. I had to go to Jimmy Kimmel with no publicist there. I go on with no publicist there and I pay this man . . ."
"I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."
-Paula Abdul

Awww Paula, It's Ok, Here's a glass of whiskey, you whining bitch!

Liar! You Were Drunk!

Paula Abdul's publicist claims that Paula broke her nose by avoiding stepping on her dog.

"I took a nasty fall ... trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm ... my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip," Abdul said.

Something tells me she took a drunkin' tumble!