DEAR DOUCHE BAG

Got a problem? Antihero Spencer Pratt of MTV's The Hills is here to help. Radar has tapped the Machiavellian Pratt as its new advice columnist. Tackling problems from hot girls to family affairs, YO SPENCER! debuts in the April 2008 issue of Radar, on newsstands March 25. After enlisting the future American president and current reality-show prince for a Q&A in its November 2007 issue, it quickly became obvious that Pratt had a future in the magazine business ... so Radar brought him back. This time around, instead of answering questions about himself, he'll be fielding queries from regular folks with regular problems. The always-entertaining Pratt will add some extra flavor and humor to the magazine. Anyone in search of Spencer's advice can email him questions at spencer@radaronline.com. "Spencer is never afraid to speak his mind," says Radar Editor-in-Chief Maer Roshan. "When asking for advice, it's good to have someone who will be brutally honest with you, and tell it like it is."
- Radar press release

I can just imagine the questions:

Dear Douche, my girlfriend spends too much time with her friends what should I do

Listen Homey, you have to stop that. Take her phone away, convince her to get implants, and a new nose. One of the sexiest looks in my opinion is a horse with big fake boobs. So hot.